Chihuly Gardens, Seattle, WA, September 2013
After a weekend in Seattle for the International Food Blogger Conference, I come back home feeling inspired…yet I don’t know what to write, bake, cook, and photograph. Have you ever felt this way? I’m filled with ideas, techniques, and new ways to do this thing we call blogging, yet all I want to do is take a deep breath and step away from it all.
I don’t tend to get too personal on the blog, but today seemed like as good a day as any. I need to start writing more from the heart. I need to start writing more than about just the food behind the pictures. This summer has been a tough summer for me – even though I’ve done it over and over again, the summers on Martha’s Vineyard seem to either be getting harder or I’m just getting older. I can honestly say I cried over 15 times in the month of August. Work overwhelmed me, emails overwhelmed, even doing a simple thing like laundry made me shed a few tears. It’s not everyone that can work 16 hours days and keep it together, and this summer…it honestly broke me. I was just tired….all the time. Add to that having freelance assignments with looming deadlines, a food blog I had to update two-three times a week (meaning I’d have to cook recipes after working those long 16 hour days), and oh, a husband to keep happy. It all just added up to be too much at times so I’d just take a hot shower and do the ugly cry while the steam enveloped me, reassuring me that I’d be okay.
But waking up the next day and the next, and I just wasn’t feeling it. The long hours, the 110F kitchen, and having to deal with everyone’s kitchen humor made it even harder. I’m grateful to have a husband that doesn’t expect much of me during the summers – sure I get the laundry done and the sheets are changed on a weekly basis, plus I do buy him his favorite after-work treats, but other than that, M is a simple guy. One that just wants me to be happy…and not crying all the time. He’d talk me through the tears, reminding me that soon I’d be October and it would all be over. And it is…kind of. Mid-September and work is slowing down, while new and fun opportunities start popping up. I’m smiling more. I’m meeting new people that are inspiring me in ways I didn’t think I could be inspired.
And that’s just what I needed. I needed a reality check, one I got in Seattle and haven’t looked back. I need to reorganize the priorities in my life; I’m slowly but surely weeding away the negative “friends” around me; and I’m doing more of the things I love. I’m writing from the heart, even if it’s just on a notepad before I go to bed. I’m baking with no intent for it to be a blog post; I’m reading your blog posts over and over again, commenting with thoughtfulness; I’m slowly becoming a happier me. Follow your dreams. Experience is the best teacher. Put up, or shut up. If you can’t stand the heat, stay out of the kitchen. Whatever you want the cliche quote to be, just go with it.
p.s. I’ll be back next week with inspired posts, if inspiration hits me. Thanks for understanding.
A break is good. Take time for yourself. You mean the world to me darlin. So glad we had the chance to hang at ifbc. You being there made it all worth it to me. Xoxo
Heather
Glad you are finally able to slw down. 16 hr days are tough and life can get overwhelming. Hang in there! Sending you a big hug.
Hugs my dear! I remember feeling the same way, coming after an intense conference, several months ago. There was something about it all that was so inspiring and empowering, yet at the same time, I had this feeling that I was repulsed by it all and needed time away from my blog itself. It can get overwhelming. And as for taking a deep breath, I hear you! Definitely bake for the sake of baking, I am doing my best to cook and bake without any intent to post – it helps to keep me sane and from burning out. I hope you get the rest you deserve, you’re one of the hardest working people I know 🙂
<3
I have been there love and it’s awful…only a few months ago I was having anxiety attacks and nervous breakdowns from too much work and stress…. it’s evening out now but I know what you mean about just crying and crying… here for you if you need anything and if it helps, I always just repeat the phrase “this too shall pass”…because it always does somehow <3 much love xoxo
Love you SO much! Your talent, passion, and gigantic heart make ut easy to understand why you’re feeling wiped out. You give everything you’ve got and you never compromise. So remember this, m’love… It’s more important to be true to yourself and it’s perfectly okay to love yourself a little bit more than you allow yourself to…even when loving yourself means taking a break to have a good cry ♥
Take care of you, lady. Don’t burn yourself out… we like you too much!
I love you.
You are in the perfect place. So pleased that you enjoyed IFBC!!! I love your honesty, sending hugs across the miles sweet Marnely.
xoxo you and Heather are both inspired (and inspiring) tonight! So happy to call you both friends.
It must be something about August, because it completely drained me, too. And I’m still not recovered. I don’t know how you do it with those looooooong hours, day after day, but I guess it’s a little like running a marathon. A mind game, knowing that soon enough, it will be over and you can cool down. You continue to amaze and inspire me and I love you for that!
Do write from the heart, even if it’s just for you. It’s so wonderful what that can do for you. <3