Chihuly Gardens, Seattle, WA, September 2013
After a weekend in Seattle for the International Food Blogger Conference, I come back home feeling inspired…yet I don’t know what to write, bake, cook, and photograph. Have you ever felt this way? I’m filled with ideas, techniques, and new ways to do this thing we call blogging, yet all I want to do is take a deep breath and step away from it all.
I don’t tend to get too personal on the blog, but today seemed like as good a day as any. I need to start writing more from the heart. I need to start writing more than about just the food behind the pictures. This summer has been a tough summer for me – even though I’ve done it over and over again, the summers on Martha’s Vineyard seem to either be getting harder or I’m just getting older. I can honestly say I cried over 15 times in the month of August. Work overwhelmed me, emails overwhelmed, even doing a simple thing like laundry made me shed a few tears. It’s not everyone that can work 16 hours days and keep it together, and this summer…it honestly broke me. I was just tired….all the time. Add to that having freelance assignments with looming deadlines, a food blog I had to update two-three times a week (meaning I’d have to cook recipes after working those long 16 hour days), and oh, a husband to keep happy. It all just added up to be too much at times so I’d just take a hot shower and do the ugly cry while the steam enveloped me, reassuring me that I’d be okay.
But waking up the next day and the next, and I just wasn’t feeling it. The long hours, the 110F kitchen, and having to deal with everyone’s kitchen humor made it even harder. I’m grateful to have a husband that doesn’t expect much of me during the summers – sure I get the laundry done and the sheets are changed on a weekly basis, plus I do buy him his favorite after-work treats, but other than that, M is a simple guy. One that just wants me to be happy…and not crying all the time. He’d talk me through the tears, reminding me that soon I’d be October and it would all be over. And it is…kind of. Mid-September and work is slowing down, while new and fun opportunities start popping up. I’m smiling more. I’m meeting new people that are inspiring me in ways I didn’t think I could be inspired.
And that’s just what I needed. I needed a reality check, one I got in Seattle and haven’t looked back. I need to reorganize the priorities in my life; I’m slowly but surely weeding away the negative “friends” around me; and I’m doing more of the things I love. I’m writing from the heart, even if it’s just on a notepad before I go to bed. I’m baking with no intent for it to be a blog post; I’m reading your blog posts over and over again, commenting with thoughtfulness; I’m slowly becoming a happier me. Follow your dreams. Experience is the best teacher. Put up, or shut up. If you can’t stand the heat, stay out of the kitchen. Whatever you want the cliche quote to be, just go with it.
p.s. I’ll be back next week with inspired posts, if inspiration hits me. Thanks for understanding.